We cannot get through life unscathed by trauma. And yet, we can let the trauma become the dominating driving force of our lives, through denial, avoidance, foolishness, fear, or simply naivete.
But, undealt with, trauma puts us into isolation and self-protection, which exhibits itself most often in women as codependence.
It could possibly show up as hyper-independence, where you comply to a degree, but shut down emotionally, which also shuts down any capacity to authentically connect with anyone in a healthy way.
Some say either extreme is a negative character flaw that predisposes one to be drawn to abusive relationships. I disagree. I say codependence/hyper-independence is the learned self-protection from being in abusive relationships. There is a huge difference! When you are taught all your life, beginning with your childhood, that safety equals compliant obedience, or means you’re on your own to protect yourself, you will develop the characteristics they call “codependence.” The end result is that your identity becomes defined by the people you are seeking to please.
There can be a fine line between codependence and healthy emotional self-defense. The difference is the health and steadfastness of your own sense of personhood, and to what degree you are being authentic versus isolating or hiding. Recovery requires coming out of hiding. And, you’ve got to recover your identity in order to do so.
What if I told you clarity and healing are possible?
What if you were able to connect deeply with people without feeling obligated, angry, or afraid? And without hiding behind a facade!! Imagine what it would be like to feel heard, understood, and known, and then to be able to use that as a source of strength to more steadfastly show up in your world. Imagine having even just a few people in your corner who “get it” and can help you begin to fight against the emotional abuse that has been consuming your soul. This is the power of small group therapy. I’ve been coaching small groups for almost a decade, and have watched countless women find the turning point from a slow soul death to a renewed sense of life being breathed into that same soul.
Join our online Identity Recovery Groups!
Find healing from self-protective people-pleasing, especially within the context of high-conflict relationships where emotional abuse and destructive behavioral patterns are present.
You are NOT alone in your experience! And, there is something beautiful in connecting with other women who understand the “death by a thousand papercuts” that comes with codependency and destructive relationships, who are seeking the same healing and freedom your heart longs for.
This may be the only space in your whole day where you can be real enough to openly question the chaos in your head and what you see around you, and find the clarity you crave.
Virtual Meetings via Zoom
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Wednesdays Starting Nov 6, 2024 3-5pm EST Every Other Week (unique format for this group!)
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Mondays Starting Dec 2, 2024 1-3pm EST
- TBC – To-Be-Created- group, if needed.
Payment plans are available! Please inquire to info@livefound.org and we can get it set up for you. Total cost works out to less than half the cost of doing individual sessions, but provides the same amount of work with the added benefit of the group dynamic to provide a deep connection that you crave.
If the group that works for you seems a long way out, let’s meet individually in the meantime! We can get started on the healing journey now and then capitalize on the group dynamic when it finally begins. You can schedule individual sessions HERE.
